Oh, he's *just now* having a nervous breakdown? What has this entire Presidency been if not Donald Trump having a nonstop string of nervous breakdowns? He's not so much a human as he is a quasi-sentient rat king of untreated mental illnesses, inextricably woven together over the course of seven decades, forever at war with each other and reality itself.

Trump's brain has so many competing neuroses that they've started forming clans with related mental illnesses like medieval Scotland, constantly feuding for territory in his mind, with the winner getting to write his Tweets for the evening.

If you looked at his neurons that are responsible for his insecurities under a microscope, you'd see they're so overdeveloped they've begun wearing crude loinclothes over their dendrites because they've developed a shame of their own naked bodies.

You realize this guy once Tweeted that Mars was a part of the moon and not a single person remembers this because he actually said something more insane an hour later?

So there's this thing called privacy

Love podcasts or audiobooks? Learn on the go with our new app.