I've taught English and all I do is turn my chair around and offer my students cigarettes because I'm the Cool Teacher.

I don't actually teach anything or answer any of their questions, I just aggressively insist they keep smoking these cigarettes because I bought like two cartons yesterday and this is the only way I know how to get people to like me. (please message me if you have a list of 197 ways to enlarge my Medium audience, god I could really use that)