Aaron Boyd
2 min readDec 14, 2020


I recently joined the Facebook Group for Trump's Second Inaugural Address That Is Definitely Happening, for comedy-centric reasons I hope would be fairly obvious.

Can we just say it? They're dumb. Really, really dumb. And shallow. And selfish.

Try talking to them like adults. Go on. I dare you.

Keep it as basic as you like. Dumb it down as much as you can. Keep sentences short and ideas concrete, like you're speaking to a toddler.

Mention things like "being in a bubble" and watch it fly over their heads. Bring up their dozens and dozens and dozens of court cases that were laughed out of court. Tell them the Internet isn't real life. Use language they understand by taunting them as sore losers, crybabies, and whiny little snowflakes clutching their security blankets.

It won't matter. No matter what you say, it will fly over their heads.

They'll say "We The People" and then overturn an election they catastrophically lost. They'll talk about the Constitution and then suggest Baron should automatically become President when he turns 18.

Oh, and those 300,000 dead from COVID? A bunch of Never Trumper corpses that are out to get Trump because death has made them biased against him. (Don't worry, they'll regain their compassion the moment Biden takes office.)

These people are supposed to be our countrymen. They're not. They're literally trying to betray us, to end democracy, and to install a racist, pussy-grabbing autocrat that prefers his war heroes not be captured in its place.

Their incompetence does not change or excuse that. And it's time we stopped hiding from this uncomfortable truth.