Also, can we please stop pretending evangelicals actually care about Christianity beyond its value as a label to determine the in-group? They don't care about their faith. It's just an arbitrary marker for them, like team colors in a football game: Shirts vs Skins, Jesus vs Everyone Else.

These people haven't read the Bible. You can tell not just by how much they get wrong, but how early in the book a lot of these things are.

God creates the Universe twice in a row with no explanation on Page 1.

Sodom and Gammorah, a story that is literally half a page long, contains zero references to homosexuality. It's on page 9 or 10.

Lucifer/Satan never shows up. Ever. The whole "War in Heaven" thing is a complete fabrication. I know because it's the coolest part in the Bible and I wanted to read it.

At his trial, when Pontius Pilate gives Jesus the opportunity to speak, the crowd is amazed at Christ's refusal to speak...in Mark, Matthew, and Luke. In John, Jesus gives this exposition dump in an enormous wall of text, and the crowd is amazed by his speech.

And so on.

They haven't read the Bible because they don't care.